I suppose it is common in the United States and Europe to emphasize the freedom that the women living there have. It is even more common to view the situation of women in the Arab world with a mixture of pity and disgust. The hijab, worn by many Muslim women in the Arab world and elsewhere, is the most potent symbol of so-called female oppression. It is symbolic for many people of a society and belief system (Islam) that treats women as possessions and objects who are given few individual rights. People often hate and fear what they do not truly know or understand. I have an interesting story to tell in a moment.
I have had several great 'dialogue' opportunities with young Egyptians here in Cairo. Some of the girls I had a chance to speak to were all dressed conservatively by most American standards. Nevertheless they expressed no dissatisfaction with their way of dressing. In fact they were all proud of their identities as Muslim women. These women did not look like the sad and oppressed lot that are always presented in the Western media. They were very well educated and occupied a comfortable social background. A women's freedom or lack there of should not be defined by what she wears. I am certainly not an expert on the subject of women in the Arab and Muslim world. Hell, I am not even an expert on my own society. I do believe that things are almost always more complicated than they may seem at first glance. It is perhaps all too easy to make sweeping generalizations of societies and customs that we are not familiar with, and we are all (including myself) guilty of this at some point in our lives. Do we judge out of pity? What are we so afraid of? Certainly things on the surface here in Cairo suggest that relationships with men and women in this part of the world are fractured and strange, but if we only choose to look through our narrow lens we can never see the bigger picture. I'm not sure if I have personally seen the bigger picture in my time in Cairo thus far, but it has been confirmed that women and men all face similar problems no matter where they are in the world. Couples laugh, cry, feel both intense joy and sadness, have sex, fight and makeup here in Egypt just as they do everywhere else in the world.
I have noticed from my admittedly limited perspective that economics plays a certain role in the way that women dress and act here in Egypt. From what I've seen, women from the country tend to dress more conservatively, while upper-class women in certain neighborhoods of Cairo can be seen wearing the latest provocative fashions from Europe. There are, however, plenty of exceptions to this generalization. Some seriousness aside, perhaps in the harsh countryside of Egypt dressing more conservatively is more practical for women. After all, who wants to get sand and dust in their hair? Even as a male with short hair I can say that it's not fun. Anyway, what I think that women of all classes have in common is that they work hard everyday to support their children and families.
As a young man spending only a short time in this country, I sometimes feel shut out of Egyptian women and their world. In Zamalek, the women glide past me on the street like ghosts. Its almost as if for them I am not even there on the street. I do however receive some glares and upset looks from Egyptian girls when I am seen walking down the street with some of my female American friends. Even other males look at me differently, and it can be awkward I'll admit.
I thought of a story I had heard of a woman who lived a life that many in the West would look at as free and independent, and her self perception was based on these these two powerful words. Her life was defined by few limits on sexuality or the use of drugs. Although this is an extreme example, I believe it highlights the fact that there are extremes in every society that are self-destructive and damaging. The woman in this story ultimately found that the lifestyle that she had been living didn't offer her real freedom or self-respect that her society told her she had. She had become a slave to fashion, to the latest trends, and to basing her self worth on her looks and body. I suppose ironically she found in Islam a way of life that emphasized her own internal beauty as opposed to beauty based on her looks. She chose to become a Muslim by her own free will, and it ultimately made her a happier person. I don't consider myself to be a very religious person, but I found this story to be fascinating. I am not saying that Islam is better for women or anything like that, I just personally believe that living ones life at one extreme or the other can leave you feeling empty or worthless. There are certainly Muslim women out there that are unhappy with their social position in their respective countries. But on the other hand there are countless women in the West who are sick of the way they feel their society emphasizes material values and overt sexuality. Again, I feel that there are extreme elements in both lifestyles that I personally dislike. Unfortunately, it is all too often that people in both the Arab world and the West believe that the extremes in the other society are the norm. We believe that our societies are so different and incompatible that there can never be true understanding.
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